Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
