she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
