I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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