STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
