You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
