If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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