smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
