Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
