if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
