Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
