I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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