i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
