There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's always time for handjobs
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
