Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
