I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize