I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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