Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
