Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
