You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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