How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
