i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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