You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
