I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
