The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize