dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
that may or may not have been my penis.
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