Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
