Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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