Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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