Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
