hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
2020 sucks, I want a refund
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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