does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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