I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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