My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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