You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
PANTIES FOUND
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
