I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
