he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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