The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
