Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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