I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
