She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
