Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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