some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
