She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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