i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
