You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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