I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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