I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
