apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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