If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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