I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
