Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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