I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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