that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
