69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
