belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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