You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
