Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
