I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
