It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
