it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize