god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize