Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
