I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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