she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
40s are totally the cure
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
